Bed Time Quests & Dinner Games for 3-5 year olds

And their parents.

Recently I had the bright idea to give up on being a regular parent. Mostly cause regular parenting practices melt my brain. But then I wondered … does it have to be boring?

Spoiler alert:

Yes.

The only the way to have healthy, well-adjusted children is to perform the expected childcare tasks according to the ancient rites passed down in the Great Book of Parenting that sprang fully formed from the wisdom of our forebears, and which details how to change diapers, turn off lights, eat with cutlery and have polite conversation. Just like we all did in the ancestral environment.

Obviously.

But no. It’s all culture and it’s all recent culture and you can decide to do Something Else Instead. Really.

So as someone who craves mental stimulation above the pay grade of the 3 to 5 revolutions around the sun my daughters have managed so far … I figured I’d just make up New Rules.

All the time.

So far we’ve been going for two weeks and the main areas are bedtime routines for my eldest (5) and dinner games for all of us (5, 3, and myself). I noticed I seem to have an easy time generating new and odd rule sets every day, and then started wondering if maybe more parents would enjoy this type of variety in their childcare routines and would want to tap into some of the ideas I’ve been coming up with. So in case that’s you, here is what I’ve found so far!

Dinner Games

This may depend a little on how good your kids are at finishing their food. I found it helps to make a rule that each kid only gets a turn in the game if they have at least performed one significant act of mastication. Nothing like bribes perfectly calibrated incentives to get everyone a membership pass for the Clean Plate Club.

Jenga

This one keeps on giving. Everyone can participate and it’s a good attention grabber so far. Key adjustments I’ve made are “finding the loose blocks for the kids and then letting them pull them out themselves” and “planning when to plausibly throw myself under the bus to many triumphant giggles all round”.

Tangram

This is more like puzzles on easy mode. I’d recommend getting a colored set so you can take turns assigning each other colors that then need to be placed according to some given pattern. Alternatively, go ham and live your best geometric rorschach life. Possibly do some socratic probing on the nature of shapes and what the minimally viable form factor for a unidinocornasaurus would be. It comes up.

Memory As Storytelling Device

We ended up with a preference for games without winning or losing, but an apparently deep desire to play Memory. Somehow. So, I suggested we take turns drawing cards, and tell a story based on the card. The next person draws a new card and continues the story by inserting the item/person/creature on their card into the story. If you then place each used card in a row, you can see the story unfold before you. Feel free to help your kids with their story telling and nudge the narrative arc toward plot points that may excite or befuddle them. Successes so far are items inexplicably falling from the sky, everything being magic somehow, and playing die-revive ping pong with our plucky protagonist, Tomato-Butterfly-Spoon-Girl.

Bedtime Rules

These are all rule sets used with a 5-almost-6-year-old, and cover the steps of her putting on her pyama, brushing her teeth, and going to the bathroom (and a bonus one with book reading). I’m not sure how well they work with kids older or younger, but my guess is there is some leeway to move the complexity up and down a bit as desired.

Magic Time

Kiddo is the parent. You are the kiddo. Except, the kiddo is still bringing themselves to bed and not you. They get to tell you what to do and take care of you. You will have to listen. I completely recommend performing a lot of obstructive behavior and misunderstanding basic instructions. This was one of the most popular games and may show some insight into how your child would prefer to be parented, or feels about your parenting.

Simon Says

For every step of the bedtime routine, you say "Simon says" followed by an instruction on what to do it. For us, this included such things like walking backwards to the bathroom or hopping on one leg. Keep in mind that you both have to follow all the instructions.

Magic Hat

The person who wears the hat can invent an instruction for the other person. The other person has to keep performing the instruction till the kiddo is done with the next step of their bedtime routine. Then the hat is swapped. Rinse and repeat. My favorite instruction was having kiddo turn a full circle before they say something, which resulted in much befuddlement and giggles.

One Hand

The kiddo holds one hand behind their back and now needs to figure out how to get changed, brush their teeth, and go to the bathroom like that. This one was later noted as a top 3 favorite. Presumably cause it challenges them in ways they haven’t explored yet.

Balance Card

Grab any credit card sized item (that you don’t care much about. Or your actual credit card, you wild child) and have your kiddo balance it on their head while they do their tasks. This is also surprisingly good for posture!

Everything All At Once

Have them brush teeth while sitting on the toilet and having a book read to them. In practice, this teaches all the virtues of Not Multitasking. This rule was terrible, everyone agreed it was terrible, it will always remain terrible… I mean, yes, it was a very teachable moment.

Plushy Ping Pong

Have them pick a plushy and give it to you. For each step of the bedtime routine, they can pause and make a catching motion. You throw the plushy to them, and they throw it straight back. They have to do another step to get another back-and-forth. One thing you might see here is that the kiddo may become very aware of how tasks decompose. Suddenly light switches and single steps are all “tasks” that deserve a Plushy Ping Pong.

Balance Hand

Pick a fairly challenging object to balance on your hand (e.g., an empty water bottle or a pen). You need to keep it balanced while they are doing their tasks, and they have to keep it balanced when walking between tasks.

Frozen Riddles

One of you starts frozen and one of you starts moving. Kiddo will need to keep going through their bedtime routine when moving and will have to freeze mid-action when they are frozen. The unfrozen person asks the frozen person questions. The frozen person can pass on as many questions as they want. As soon as they get an answer right, they become unfrozen and the roles reverse. This is your chance to quiz your kid on anything you like! But once it’s your turn be ready to explain deep questions such as why the universe exists. Or boxes. Why do boxes exist?

Reversal

Any piece of the bedtime routine that can be reversed in some manner, should be reversed! This can be the pyama, the order of operations, numbers that are counted up or down, or caps that are screwed on toothpaste tubes or tooth paste tubes that are screwed on caps! It’s interesting to see young minds grapple with the concept of reversing actions along various dimensions (time, place, orientation, etc).

Frozen Music

Play a song they like, and the song keeps going as long as they keep moving through their bedtime routine. If they stop or get distracted, pause the song. Once they continue again, press play. Honestly, this one broke speed records for us, and may be worth keeping on hand for tired days.

Tangled Tails

Grab a long scarf or some other soft rope-like item and tie it very loosely around the kiddo’s middle. Make sure it comes loose if too much tension is put on it. Then wrap the other side around your middle or tuck it in your waist band or a pocket. Now basically the kiddo will have to move through their entire routine while tied to you. There will be some logistical challenges, and each time the scarf-rope comes loose, you just pause and retie it. This one was, surprisingly, also in the top 3 favorites so far!

So there you have it. Dinner games and bedtime rules so far. Hope you enjoyed and catch you next time! <3